So after a great Christmas/New Year and a killer Australia Day there was no improvement in employment for the Husband and shit went down hill fast. I attribute the lack of posts to the stress and general unhappiness of barely being able to feed your kids. Though many may dramatise there have been more than a few days where Husband and I have gone without food to make sure the rations last til pay day.
So payment arrangements were made and a few payments missed but we'll catch up eventually.
Importantly, it was my eldest daughters birthday today and we needed to have money for gifts and cake and a very small (read cheap) celebration with her BFF's.
This is the child who was born so early they let me hold her at birth because they didn't think she'd make it and I would cope better having held her. The child who we waited 4 days to hear she would live. The child I didn't hold again for 8 days and who didn't come home until she could prove she could kickstart her own breathing response when she just stopped breathing. The child who has argued and bullied and complained about everything to the point where the Husband just wants to give up and blame me and to the point where I see now it is my fault and I don't know how or if I can change her.
My eldest daughter was born in the height of the 'reason, don't smack' revolution. My eldest daughter is very intelligent but children can't reason. By the time I had learned this I had already spawned a argument machine. She wanted a reason for everything. The fact that I say so is not good enough when frankly we all know it bloody well should be. To make matters worse I am a teacher and I see this crap all the time but didn't recognise where it was headed in my own child. In short, I have ruined her because now she doesn't know when to argue her point and when to just shut and follow instructions. It could literally get her killed. Imagine we're standing by a busy road, we go to cross but a car comes screaming around the corner and I yell "STOP!". Her response would be to ask me why, argue or ignore me when it should be to just fucking stop because I SAID SO!
So back to my point.
We have no money, it's her birthday and I have scrounged together enough money to buy a few presents (totalling $46) and to take her and 2 friends to a $5 brunch and a $6 movie and all she has done is complain that her birthday hasn't been good enough. That we haven't done enough and then she loses her shit with her father while they are preparing for a night fishing trip (something else she has been busting to do that we are doing for her birthday) and it's all over. She's in her room, he's given up and were there not other kids looking forward to tomorrow there'd be no movie either.
The Husband and I have questioned whether she is beyond any behaviour norms for her age, we have made excuses about hunger and tiredness, we have identified each others traits in her in the blame game but it all amounts to nought.
She is a rude, bad tempered, ingrate who's gotten away with being such for too long.
We held out on letting her go to Girl Guide Camp until the very last minute and I 'traded' consequences so she could go but the Husband was right. We should have stuck to the 'No Camp' consequence.
So this time, she was sent to her room so we could discuss punishment/consequences before the Husband leapt to something we couldn't follow through on.
The plan is to take every privilege away and she will have to earn it back through behaviour change -some short term, some long term.
So here's the deal:
No iPod(possible limited weekend use dependant upon behaviour)
No laptop (except school work for 2 weeks)
No TV show preferences(to be reassessed after 2 weeks)
No game choice with the siblings (for 1 month -she uses games to bully them)
No Drama lessons for at least 1 term. (she can go back when we see some real behaviour change).
She will live and suffer by 3 rules which have somehow been misunderstood or left out:
Follow instructions
No complaints/arguments
Be nice
So let's see if we can fix her. I've always known our downfall was inconsistency but this has reached all new levels of hard to live with.
Feel free to join me if your kid has hit Super Brat levels. The philosophy is KISS, Old Skool!
Simple rules and earning privilege.
Starting....NOW!
...and yes, you can come out of your room now ;)
Saturday, 24 March 2012
Saturday, 14 January 2012
My turn to whinge.
What the fuck is it with kids and bed time?!
I get that sleep is the most boring part of what is often an adventure filled day. But seriously, it happens every night. How many years do we have to go through this until they give in to the inevitability of night?
Tonight we were doubly stupid on the kids and evening front. It all started watching The Hogfather on ABC1 last Saturday. They loved it. Sat enthralled after dinner and begged to watch Part 2 this week.
So we arrive at tonight.
I fed them...they even got dessert (The Husband's job). To start I would like to give credit where credit's due. The 8 year old watched with little fuss except to participate in the obligatory competition (read screaming match mid movie) over who is cuddling Mum the most. I know they won't always fight over such trivialities as their mothers affections but I really wish they would just get on board with my rotating roster system so everyone could enjoy a cuddle with Mummy!*
My 4 year old who is actually pretty good at movies totally dropped the ball tonight. She literally rolled around the lounge and living room while eating grapes the entire 90 minutes. I don't know about you but this can be somewhat distracting and as a new Terry Pratchet reader^ I actually wanted to see this movie.
Miss 6? Well, she was ok but she's so quiet and easily pleased that I always feel guilty I'm doing enough for her - did she get enough cuddles during the movie? Who knows! Until she has a total meltdown because she is being bullied by her sisters next time they are making some play or movie and she screams at me "YOU DIDN'T CUDDLE ME ENOUGH ON JANUARY 14TH DURING THE MOVIE!" You think I'm kidding but that shit could happen with her. She forgets nothing -EVER! She recalls stuff from when she was much younger than the other 2.
Then there is the game of Hide & Seek that the cat and dog played around the ottoman. I wish I had filmed it.
So to summarise, apparently tonight was not a good night for a movie but last Saturday was. I can't recall last Saturday but that is mainly because it was pretty much the same as this Saturday. The movie held the attention of Miss 8 much the same as last week so I'm determining the movie was not the problem. Oddly though, last Saturday was the full moon...draw your own conclusions on that...
On to bedtime.
Movie over, it's 9 pm. Kids have had a good day of playing and they are tired but here we go again.
I'm not tired (You never are)
I need to sleep with you (I want to sleep with your father)
I need to sleep with someone (Lay quietly and the cat will warm your feet or the dog will snuggle with you -oh the choices!)
My mattress isn't comfortable (Nice try, it's brand new)
I need a drink of water (Classic)
I'm just going to the toilet (Good Idea, hurry up)
I gotta tell you something (Uh, huh)
I'm itchy (Allow me to give you some antihistamines, bwahahaha!)
I can't get to sleep (Go the fuck to sleep!)
And anything else they come up with...some nights are quite impressive. Tonight it has taken 3 rounds of me chasing them into bed before we have settled into something near sleep. Those 3 rounds have taken more than an hour and comprised the resolution of all of the above complaints.
I see the humour in the bedtime dance` but the only thing that seems to finalise each evening is me having to put on this faux anger and they are all asleep within literally minutes. I hate it. It leaves me feeling awful. The last thing they hear and see before they toddle off to dream land is an angry mummy. Who wants that? Certainly not me but at some point they have to sleep, the time comes for it all to be over or their little bodies can't handle the adventures of the next day. So I play my role in their performance and hope that there is only a few more years left. Miss 8 has accepted bedtime so that should mean that it's another 4 years before they are all nicely wandering off to bed for a quiet read without argument before blissful rest.
I would appreciate it if no one destroyed this hope of mine with their own experiences. We all need something to cling to and mine is one less struggle each day with 3 young girls.
Feel free to tell me how to get them to bed easily if you have worked it out though.
Someone pour me a drink -mine got warm...
* Is it weird I have a rotating cuddle schedule?
^ I am still actually working up to reading anything but I have had significant exposure to make me want to read him, if I can find a copy of one of his books that The Husband hasn't literally read the cover off.
`Some nights The Husband and I are actually doubled over in laughter between trips up the hallway!
I get that sleep is the most boring part of what is often an adventure filled day. But seriously, it happens every night. How many years do we have to go through this until they give in to the inevitability of night?
Tonight we were doubly stupid on the kids and evening front. It all started watching The Hogfather on ABC1 last Saturday. They loved it. Sat enthralled after dinner and begged to watch Part 2 this week.
So we arrive at tonight.
I fed them...they even got dessert (The Husband's job). To start I would like to give credit where credit's due. The 8 year old watched with little fuss except to participate in the obligatory competition (read screaming match mid movie) over who is cuddling Mum the most. I know they won't always fight over such trivialities as their mothers affections but I really wish they would just get on board with my rotating roster system so everyone could enjoy a cuddle with Mummy!*
My 4 year old who is actually pretty good at movies totally dropped the ball tonight. She literally rolled around the lounge and living room while eating grapes the entire 90 minutes. I don't know about you but this can be somewhat distracting and as a new Terry Pratchet reader^ I actually wanted to see this movie.
Miss 6? Well, she was ok but she's so quiet and easily pleased that I always feel guilty I'm doing enough for her - did she get enough cuddles during the movie? Who knows! Until she has a total meltdown because she is being bullied by her sisters next time they are making some play or movie and she screams at me "YOU DIDN'T CUDDLE ME ENOUGH ON JANUARY 14TH DURING THE MOVIE!" You think I'm kidding but that shit could happen with her. She forgets nothing -EVER! She recalls stuff from when she was much younger than the other 2.
Then there is the game of Hide & Seek that the cat and dog played around the ottoman. I wish I had filmed it.
So to summarise, apparently tonight was not a good night for a movie but last Saturday was. I can't recall last Saturday but that is mainly because it was pretty much the same as this Saturday. The movie held the attention of Miss 8 much the same as last week so I'm determining the movie was not the problem. Oddly though, last Saturday was the full moon...draw your own conclusions on that...
On to bedtime.
Movie over, it's 9 pm. Kids have had a good day of playing and they are tired but here we go again.
I'm not tired (You never are)
I need to sleep with you (I want to sleep with your father)
I need to sleep with someone (Lay quietly and the cat will warm your feet or the dog will snuggle with you -oh the choices!)
My mattress isn't comfortable (Nice try, it's brand new)
I need a drink of water (Classic)
I'm just going to the toilet (Good Idea, hurry up)
I gotta tell you something (Uh, huh)
I'm itchy (Allow me to give you some antihistamines, bwahahaha!)
I can't get to sleep (Go the fuck to sleep!)
And anything else they come up with...some nights are quite impressive. Tonight it has taken 3 rounds of me chasing them into bed before we have settled into something near sleep. Those 3 rounds have taken more than an hour and comprised the resolution of all of the above complaints.
I see the humour in the bedtime dance` but the only thing that seems to finalise each evening is me having to put on this faux anger and they are all asleep within literally minutes. I hate it. It leaves me feeling awful. The last thing they hear and see before they toddle off to dream land is an angry mummy. Who wants that? Certainly not me but at some point they have to sleep, the time comes for it all to be over or their little bodies can't handle the adventures of the next day. So I play my role in their performance and hope that there is only a few more years left. Miss 8 has accepted bedtime so that should mean that it's another 4 years before they are all nicely wandering off to bed for a quiet read without argument before blissful rest.
I would appreciate it if no one destroyed this hope of mine with their own experiences. We all need something to cling to and mine is one less struggle each day with 3 young girls.
Feel free to tell me how to get them to bed easily if you have worked it out though.
Someone pour me a drink -mine got warm...
* Is it weird I have a rotating cuddle schedule?
^ I am still actually working up to reading anything but I have had significant exposure to make me want to read him, if I can find a copy of one of his books that The Husband hasn't literally read the cover off.
`Some nights The Husband and I are actually doubled over in laughter between trips up the hallway!
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Reflect and Renew
So here we are again. New Year's Eve and we look back and look forward.
So looking back, 2011 was a big year in my family. We sold our house and bought a boat, The Roobear started school, I left a job I had been in for over 8 years (and then promptly ditched my new job of 3 months for an awesome but temporary part time one) and then we left Sydney.
New school for the kids, new job for me, new job for The Husband and a new, huge home that we could actually spread out in. Recently a new car and another awesome family holiday on the Gold Coast. Along with all those changes we made some new friends but importantly kept some great old friends.
It really doesn't get much better than 2011.
During December in the dying moments of the year The Husband and I have had some discussions about the future for our family and ourselves as individuals.
The Husband is planning on finally getting his shit together and writing something. He is also going to do the little jobs I ask him to do in a timely fashion rather than in his own time (I made that one up but I can always hope;).
I am going to join the preschool committee as my youngest daughter, The Evil One/Small Fry heads to Preschool in anticipation of big school. This year is likely to be my final year in the part time work force so I am hoping to make the most of it. I am also going to get in shape. I don't know if that means losing weight but I want to at least be fit again by this time next year. I will be paying particular notice to my nicely developed tuckshop arms and my starting point is to run up and down our staircase for 10 minutes x3 each day.
Catch me out - go on! I dares ya!
We are planning to make the trek to Uluru in winter. That will be Da Shiz!
My children? Well that's where the spanner was thrown in. The Husband asks me if I want another baby. This is the last opportunity so I need to think carefully he tells me. At first I was excited and could see us having 4 babies. My girls are all 2 years apart and 2 years ago I had really wanted another baby and The Husband had said no. We would need a bigger house, a bigger car and we couldn't afford those therefore no more babies. I was really disappointed and fortunately for my own sanity I got sucked into retraining and a new position at work so not only did I have to forget about another baby but by the end of the year I was almost in divorce court - it was a stressful year for everyone and I would never take on that much again. A baby as it turned out would not have been a great idea.
2011 was not nearly as stressful despite the upheaval but in thinking about a new addition I have had to reflect on our family life. In the last 2 years things have been pretty great. The girls are starting to really play well together, in 2011 the eldest 2 have been at school together bringing a new dynamic to their relationship, Small Fry is so keen for school and is only 12 months away reminding me of why I had them so close together in the first place. I wanted my children to experience life stages together. Unlike my own relationship with my much younger sibling that is literally non existant.
The girls are all fairly independent now and we all get a reasonable amount of sleep. We can all swim without floaties, wipe our bums and get a drink of water - life is bloody awesome!
Not only would I be turning back the clock with another baby but I would be leaving it out in the cold in terms of the 'sister connection'. Then there's the possibility that we have a little boy -what the fuck do I do with one of them?! There's also the future that I look forward to with The Husband. In 5-6 years the girls will be old enough for us to go and play a round of golf together, have a dinner date without having to go to the Gold Coast to do it! We, as a couple and a family, will be able to do some wonderful holidays that I am really looking forward to.
So after much backing and forthing I have decided not to change my family now. We are just right the way we are. I never hesitated once about having the other girls, this is the biggest indicator to me that I am done -though I will always cuddle your baby if you have one, they is soooo cute and wonderful to smell!
So looking forward- Uluru & hopefully some good work to bring good money to keep the fun rolling! I have come to some work conclusions that will make my life much easier. I was always pushing for the next thing never really appreciating what I have or what I do. This has been my mistake. I love my job and I love my family. Rather than always pushing myself to be better for someone else I am going to push myself to do my best (not hard) and enjoy my family. Therefore, bugger the promotion ladder - who cares?! My family and I love my holidays and an extra few bucks ain't worth losing them! I'm going to spend 2012 making awesome memories with my kids and The Husband because I am so lucky to have them and have taken them for granted one too many times in my opinion!
In review - 2011 bloody fantastic!
To the future - Bring it!
So Happy New Year to you all.
Now, where are those fireworks?
PS. If I've lost it a little and rambled -I've been drinking...it's NYE for fuck's sake!
So looking back, 2011 was a big year in my family. We sold our house and bought a boat, The Roobear started school, I left a job I had been in for over 8 years (and then promptly ditched my new job of 3 months for an awesome but temporary part time one) and then we left Sydney.
New school for the kids, new job for me, new job for The Husband and a new, huge home that we could actually spread out in. Recently a new car and another awesome family holiday on the Gold Coast. Along with all those changes we made some new friends but importantly kept some great old friends.
It really doesn't get much better than 2011.
During December in the dying moments of the year The Husband and I have had some discussions about the future for our family and ourselves as individuals.
The Husband is planning on finally getting his shit together and writing something. He is also going to do the little jobs I ask him to do in a timely fashion rather than in his own time (I made that one up but I can always hope;).
I am going to join the preschool committee as my youngest daughter, The Evil One/Small Fry heads to Preschool in anticipation of big school. This year is likely to be my final year in the part time work force so I am hoping to make the most of it. I am also going to get in shape. I don't know if that means losing weight but I want to at least be fit again by this time next year. I will be paying particular notice to my nicely developed tuckshop arms and my starting point is to run up and down our staircase for 10 minutes x3 each day.
Catch me out - go on! I dares ya!
We are planning to make the trek to Uluru in winter. That will be Da Shiz!
My children? Well that's where the spanner was thrown in. The Husband asks me if I want another baby. This is the last opportunity so I need to think carefully he tells me. At first I was excited and could see us having 4 babies. My girls are all 2 years apart and 2 years ago I had really wanted another baby and The Husband had said no. We would need a bigger house, a bigger car and we couldn't afford those therefore no more babies. I was really disappointed and fortunately for my own sanity I got sucked into retraining and a new position at work so not only did I have to forget about another baby but by the end of the year I was almost in divorce court - it was a stressful year for everyone and I would never take on that much again. A baby as it turned out would not have been a great idea.
2011 was not nearly as stressful despite the upheaval but in thinking about a new addition I have had to reflect on our family life. In the last 2 years things have been pretty great. The girls are starting to really play well together, in 2011 the eldest 2 have been at school together bringing a new dynamic to their relationship, Small Fry is so keen for school and is only 12 months away reminding me of why I had them so close together in the first place. I wanted my children to experience life stages together. Unlike my own relationship with my much younger sibling that is literally non existant.
The girls are all fairly independent now and we all get a reasonable amount of sleep. We can all swim without floaties, wipe our bums and get a drink of water - life is bloody awesome!
Not only would I be turning back the clock with another baby but I would be leaving it out in the cold in terms of the 'sister connection'. Then there's the possibility that we have a little boy -what the fuck do I do with one of them?! There's also the future that I look forward to with The Husband. In 5-6 years the girls will be old enough for us to go and play a round of golf together, have a dinner date without having to go to the Gold Coast to do it! We, as a couple and a family, will be able to do some wonderful holidays that I am really looking forward to.
So after much backing and forthing I have decided not to change my family now. We are just right the way we are. I never hesitated once about having the other girls, this is the biggest indicator to me that I am done -though I will always cuddle your baby if you have one, they is soooo cute and wonderful to smell!
So looking forward- Uluru & hopefully some good work to bring good money to keep the fun rolling! I have come to some work conclusions that will make my life much easier. I was always pushing for the next thing never really appreciating what I have or what I do. This has been my mistake. I love my job and I love my family. Rather than always pushing myself to be better for someone else I am going to push myself to do my best (not hard) and enjoy my family. Therefore, bugger the promotion ladder - who cares?! My family and I love my holidays and an extra few bucks ain't worth losing them! I'm going to spend 2012 making awesome memories with my kids and The Husband because I am so lucky to have them and have taken them for granted one too many times in my opinion!
In review - 2011 bloody fantastic!
To the future - Bring it!
So Happy New Year to you all.
Now, where are those fireworks?
PS. If I've lost it a little and rambled -I've been drinking...it's NYE for fuck's sake!
Sunday, 25 December 2011
The best time of the year!
This is my favourite time of year and Christmas is literally the best of the 365/6 days we get every year. I love it and so does The Husband but the lead up to the day is all part of the enjoyment.
So since we last met I have taken Long Service Leave to extend my Christmas season! 7 weeks of summer, such as it is.
Primarily I took leave to get ready for Christmas because we were making what has become our annual pilgrimage to the Gold Coast for the week before Dec 25.
7 days in Paradise (Resort) which happens to be conveniently located on Ferny Ave, Surfers Paradise.
7 days spent in the pool, by the pool, napping, dropping the kids of at Zone4Kids before a dinner date every night followed by cocktails before picking the kids up and wrapping up a generally awesome day. If you haven't been there, do yourself a favour.
It may not sound like much to some but when you have 3 small children to raise and work and keep house a week where you do nothing but play with your kids and then offload them to someone else is simply a greater feeling than words can describe. The total lack of work to be done alone is phenomenal!
The Husband may not have but I even enjoyed the drive there and back despite the 8-10 hours stuck in a car with said 3 children.
So back to the big day...or 2.
I have bought and wrapped presents. I have prepared lunch menus with The Husband ('cos he does the cooking) for Christmas Eve & Day. I have shopped, attended presentation assemblies, Christmas Concerts, graduations and parties. I have farewelled colleagues going to far flung townships and farewelled my own job with both trepidation and relief. I have discussed the future of my family for 2012 with The Husband and now I have thoroughly enjoyed the 2 days of Christmas with Boxing Day (the laziest day of the year) still to come.
Christmas Eve included a house filled with friends and a large number of children. There was food, booze, chat and laughter and the constant background noise of the kids which to me are the sounds of summer. Christmas Day has obviously included the Great Unwrapping, the playing of all new games and toys, turkey, duck, ham, vegies, pudding, sparkling wine, white wine, beer...with a late seafood/salad/bread dinner to come though there may be a few vodkas first and a giggle at something funny on telly (The Griswald's Christmas Vacation is on -everyone SHUT UP!).
What did I get?
So I got 2 books, a dress and necklace/earrings set which I am very grateful for. It's always nice to have something to open Christmas morning but the best present I have received this year is hearing my daughters playing nicely together. They are always going to argue, and apparently scratch, but for the most part they have played well together for 2 days and most of our QLD holiday. I have my fingers crossed that we are turning a corner although I did just her Miss 6 tell Miss 4 that she is "slobbering on her pillow like a mad dog!" as they prepare for a camp out in the rumpus room so I may have spoken too soon but I am holding out hope - tis the season!
So anyway, I do hope that everyone found something to be positive about this Christmas. I don't think you have to be religious to enjoy this time of year. I think you have to simply have love in your heart, a smile on your face and generosity of spirit. Enjoy the people you spend your time with or arrange to spend time with people you enjoy. Ignore the things that piss you off if you need to or better still be understanding of how someone may have arrived at their particular point of frustration - can you help them?
My mission is to continue this understanding for the other 50.5 weeks of the year (I've done a pretty good job this over the last 10 days I reckon) though I may need a little help and understanding at times myself.
More about the plans for 2012 next week, eh?
Merry Christmas!
So since we last met I have taken Long Service Leave to extend my Christmas season! 7 weeks of summer, such as it is.
Primarily I took leave to get ready for Christmas because we were making what has become our annual pilgrimage to the Gold Coast for the week before Dec 25.
7 days in Paradise (Resort) which happens to be conveniently located on Ferny Ave, Surfers Paradise.
7 days spent in the pool, by the pool, napping, dropping the kids of at Zone4Kids before a dinner date every night followed by cocktails before picking the kids up and wrapping up a generally awesome day. If you haven't been there, do yourself a favour.
It may not sound like much to some but when you have 3 small children to raise and work and keep house a week where you do nothing but play with your kids and then offload them to someone else is simply a greater feeling than words can describe. The total lack of work to be done alone is phenomenal!
The Husband may not have but I even enjoyed the drive there and back despite the 8-10 hours stuck in a car with said 3 children.
So back to the big day...or 2.
I have bought and wrapped presents. I have prepared lunch menus with The Husband ('cos he does the cooking) for Christmas Eve & Day. I have shopped, attended presentation assemblies, Christmas Concerts, graduations and parties. I have farewelled colleagues going to far flung townships and farewelled my own job with both trepidation and relief. I have discussed the future of my family for 2012 with The Husband and now I have thoroughly enjoyed the 2 days of Christmas with Boxing Day (the laziest day of the year) still to come.
Christmas Eve included a house filled with friends and a large number of children. There was food, booze, chat and laughter and the constant background noise of the kids which to me are the sounds of summer. Christmas Day has obviously included the Great Unwrapping, the playing of all new games and toys, turkey, duck, ham, vegies, pudding, sparkling wine, white wine, beer...with a late seafood/salad/bread dinner to come though there may be a few vodkas first and a giggle at something funny on telly (The Griswald's Christmas Vacation is on -everyone SHUT UP!).
What did I get?
So I got 2 books, a dress and necklace/earrings set which I am very grateful for. It's always nice to have something to open Christmas morning but the best present I have received this year is hearing my daughters playing nicely together. They are always going to argue, and apparently scratch, but for the most part they have played well together for 2 days and most of our QLD holiday. I have my fingers crossed that we are turning a corner although I did just her Miss 6 tell Miss 4 that she is "slobbering on her pillow like a mad dog!" as they prepare for a camp out in the rumpus room so I may have spoken too soon but I am holding out hope - tis the season!
So anyway, I do hope that everyone found something to be positive about this Christmas. I don't think you have to be religious to enjoy this time of year. I think you have to simply have love in your heart, a smile on your face and generosity of spirit. Enjoy the people you spend your time with or arrange to spend time with people you enjoy. Ignore the things that piss you off if you need to or better still be understanding of how someone may have arrived at their particular point of frustration - can you help them?
My mission is to continue this understanding for the other 50.5 weeks of the year (I've done a pretty good job this over the last 10 days I reckon) though I may need a little help and understanding at times myself.
More about the plans for 2012 next week, eh?
Merry Christmas!
Saturday, 19 November 2011
Just for you ;)
I was reasonably sure that after my first post the only person reading this was my Husband. Which sometimes means I have to vent elsewhere but that's ok because I didn't really create this as a bitch page about him and surprisingly haven't have anything much to gripe about...more likely I haven't been online when he's really ticked me off...either way it turns out some one or some others are also reading -I have two things to say to you.
1. Thank you.
2. YAY!!
So the 'regular' thing isn't happening yet, I'll get there. These kids keep me busy and to be honest picking Friday night as my blogging night may not have been wise. It works because everyone including the Husband is in bed early so I have the computer to myself. The problem is by the time get them all to bed I just want to collapse into the lounge and watch trash telly with booze until I fall asleep which is generally as the Husband is getting up to go to work.
Anyway, what are the exciting bits of this week just gone?
RANT
Well, I stood up to a woman at work who has freely treated me like the shit on her shoe since I arrived. What really pisses me off is that she actually admitted to knowing she treats people this way! Well then figure out how to stop -it's not acceptable to be disrespectful, belittling, rude and unprofessional whether you know you are doing it or not! And don't expect me to keep taking your shit -especially when you are totally out of fucking line! My old boss used to say that you need to know if this "is your hill to die on?". Bullying in the work place may well have become that for me. We're teachers for Christ's sake -what are we expecting students to learn? How to bully from the masters?! I love being a teacher and I know that I am passing on valuable information, experiences and skills to my students. Unfortunately I am often disgusted by the endemic bullying that goes on in schools within the ranks of staff. Teachers afraid to ask for permission to attend their own children's presentation assemblies or take a day off when their child (or themselves) are sick. Constantly being expected to put the children of 2000 odd other people before their own and punished in a myriad of ways when they won't. Would you? Why should I? Your kids get our attention day in day out for most of the year -that's enough. I will never be promoted simply because of my previous statement. No matter how good I am at my job or anyone else's for that matter.
COOLNESS
Last Sunday we purchased a 2003 Land Rover Discovery. It is my dream car. My Lotto car if you will. We were looking for something to tow the boat that won't be destroyed by salt water (the Mondeo is very low). Husband wasn't hard to convince. They are after all a ball tearer of a vehicle! It is also fabulously Deep Green -so regal! I absolutely love it. We are now planning to hit Uluru next winter with the kids. Can't wait. First we will test drive it to Paradise. We all love it and we have been wondering why we didn't get a 4WD sooner. Especially since we can whack whichever kid is being most annoying in the furthest seat from the driver and get on wit things ;) Then we remembered we couldn't afford to run one until the last couple of years. Which makes me feel good that the 'establishing' years are almost behind us and we are looking forward to a good future.
Also being a Disco owner is like joining a club. I shit you not, an old bloke driving the same model past me the other day gave me a wave and a nod! Some other guy gave Husband the details for his mechanic who is an expert in Rovers on the coast. I giggle and mock but it's kinda cool (in an elitist sorta way;). I guess it's just nice to feel like I belong to something again.
REALISATION
Obviously I belong to my family. That's a given but work has always been an important part of my life and since leaving you know where I really don't feel like I belong anywhere or have anyone's respect no matter what minor miracle I may perform. I feel displaced, marginalised, like I'm in a purgatory for temporary teachers and I'll never be worth anything again. I'm very lucky to have my family to come home to. I'm worth something to them thankfully even if we have a funny way of showing it sometimes-and believe me some days we DO have a strange way of showing it.
We've all just watched the final Harry Potter movie. After reading the books together and watching all the movies together an era has ended. There'll be others I know but this was our first. It's been going on as long as our marriage, our children's entire lives, it's been an annual family event (among the plethora of others but an event nonetheless!) The kids have been learning about persistance at school this term. My 6 year old just told me "Harry would definitely get an award for Persistance because he just keeps on trying and never gives up!"
He is a persistant and resilient boy that Potter -thanks for helping my children learn and understand two very important concepts, Ms Rowling. I greatly appreciate it :)
It may seem simple but it takes an inner strength and determination to muster persistance and be resilient in the face of ongoing adversity. The 6000 refugees who try desperately to make our shores every year in the hope of a safe and decent life come to mind.
1. Thank you.
2. YAY!!
So the 'regular' thing isn't happening yet, I'll get there. These kids keep me busy and to be honest picking Friday night as my blogging night may not have been wise. It works because everyone including the Husband is in bed early so I have the computer to myself. The problem is by the time get them all to bed I just want to collapse into the lounge and watch trash telly with booze until I fall asleep which is generally as the Husband is getting up to go to work.
Anyway, what are the exciting bits of this week just gone?
RANT
Well, I stood up to a woman at work who has freely treated me like the shit on her shoe since I arrived. What really pisses me off is that she actually admitted to knowing she treats people this way! Well then figure out how to stop -it's not acceptable to be disrespectful, belittling, rude and unprofessional whether you know you are doing it or not! And don't expect me to keep taking your shit -especially when you are totally out of fucking line! My old boss used to say that you need to know if this "is your hill to die on?". Bullying in the work place may well have become that for me. We're teachers for Christ's sake -what are we expecting students to learn? How to bully from the masters?! I love being a teacher and I know that I am passing on valuable information, experiences and skills to my students. Unfortunately I am often disgusted by the endemic bullying that goes on in schools within the ranks of staff. Teachers afraid to ask for permission to attend their own children's presentation assemblies or take a day off when their child (or themselves) are sick. Constantly being expected to put the children of 2000 odd other people before their own and punished in a myriad of ways when they won't. Would you? Why should I? Your kids get our attention day in day out for most of the year -that's enough. I will never be promoted simply because of my previous statement. No matter how good I am at my job or anyone else's for that matter.
COOLNESS
Last Sunday we purchased a 2003 Land Rover Discovery. It is my dream car. My Lotto car if you will. We were looking for something to tow the boat that won't be destroyed by salt water (the Mondeo is very low). Husband wasn't hard to convince. They are after all a ball tearer of a vehicle! It is also fabulously Deep Green -so regal! I absolutely love it. We are now planning to hit Uluru next winter with the kids. Can't wait. First we will test drive it to Paradise. We all love it and we have been wondering why we didn't get a 4WD sooner. Especially since we can whack whichever kid is being most annoying in the furthest seat from the driver and get on wit things ;) Then we remembered we couldn't afford to run one until the last couple of years. Which makes me feel good that the 'establishing' years are almost behind us and we are looking forward to a good future.
Also being a Disco owner is like joining a club. I shit you not, an old bloke driving the same model past me the other day gave me a wave and a nod! Some other guy gave Husband the details for his mechanic who is an expert in Rovers on the coast. I giggle and mock but it's kinda cool (in an elitist sorta way;). I guess it's just nice to feel like I belong to something again.
REALISATION
Obviously I belong to my family. That's a given but work has always been an important part of my life and since leaving you know where I really don't feel like I belong anywhere or have anyone's respect no matter what minor miracle I may perform. I feel displaced, marginalised, like I'm in a purgatory for temporary teachers and I'll never be worth anything again. I'm very lucky to have my family to come home to. I'm worth something to them thankfully even if we have a funny way of showing it sometimes-and believe me some days we DO have a strange way of showing it.
We've all just watched the final Harry Potter movie. After reading the books together and watching all the movies together an era has ended. There'll be others I know but this was our first. It's been going on as long as our marriage, our children's entire lives, it's been an annual family event (among the plethora of others but an event nonetheless!) The kids have been learning about persistance at school this term. My 6 year old just told me "Harry would definitely get an award for Persistance because he just keeps on trying and never gives up!"
He is a persistant and resilient boy that Potter -thanks for helping my children learn and understand two very important concepts, Ms Rowling. I greatly appreciate it :)
It may seem simple but it takes an inner strength and determination to muster persistance and be resilient in the face of ongoing adversity. The 6000 refugees who try desperately to make our shores every year in the hope of a safe and decent life come to mind.
Thursday, 3 November 2011
Neglected :(
Soooo neglected! Poor blog.
So I've been a little busy lately. Not doing anything in particular but haven't really been on the computer either. Recently acquired an iPad which i think my husband has translated to never needs to use the iMAc again! It's great and I use it mostly for bits and pieces but it has no word processing tools and it's shit to type with that virtual keyboard otherwise I could have kept you up to date!
Since we last met I have had a run in with a near sighted, gung-ho copper who accused me of using my phone while driving - I scratched my ear as I drove past him in a side street. He was a total arsehole until his partner told him to lay off. No wonder that bloke in Castle Hill is dead. Did they give him a chance to explain what what he was doing or just leap in like this idiot?!
I also put in for Long Service Leave so that I get an extended summer break but now the long range forecast is shit and the time I planned to be lounging by the pool drinking mojito's in a plastic shot class I could well be spending in trackies on the lounge :(
My job for next year was confirmed though 1 day/week less so I am working on a plan for the extra day. I have started delivering Professional Development session up here with more planned for next year (hopefully to make up for that extra day off).
I think I have all the shopping done for the kids Christmas pressies and am now planning food. Disappointingly my SIL who was visiting can no longer make it. On the upside we don't even have to get dressed if we don't to!
We are off to the Gold Coast in 5 weeks which I am looking forward to though I am yet to save any spending money!
The youngest has had her orientation for preschool which she is so excited about, particularly her new spiffy red hat!
I have resisted the urge so far to apply for well paid yet full time jobs in favour of spending the youngest one's last pre-school year working part time to spend extra time with her.
We've been out and about in the boat including a little swimming on Lake Macquarie. An esky and a proper picnic will be in order next time! Even the dog has a great time:D
On top of all that I think I am shouting less, or at least taking things more in my stride.
I do still sometimes lose it with the eldest one -she seriously pushes my buttons for pleasure and I have been in the habit of biting for so long it is hard to break. I am implementing a series of thought provoking question cards. When she is absolutely losing it (which by the way is usually a performance worthy of an Oscar by it's denouement) I will hand her a card and ask her to answer it. My hope is that it will distract her and end the tanty while also getting her to start seeing her behaviour for what it is so we can try to change it. This I will need to stick to and that is possibly the slackest part in my parenting of her - consistency. That's probably why she pushes everything all the time!
I think I learned my lesson with the other two - time will tell.
So I've kind of lost my way in the purpose of this blog but I'll try to get back on track and post once a week -high expectations, I know!
This weekend is supposed to be sunny and warm so I'm hoping to actually get more than my feet in the pool! I only have a couple of hours chores in the morning and I've already planted the 'dinner out' seed so all in all I'm looking forward to it.
Hope you are looking forward to a lovely weekend too.
See you next week -definitely!
So I've been a little busy lately. Not doing anything in particular but haven't really been on the computer either. Recently acquired an iPad which i think my husband has translated to never needs to use the iMAc again! It's great and I use it mostly for bits and pieces but it has no word processing tools and it's shit to type with that virtual keyboard otherwise I could have kept you up to date!
Since we last met I have had a run in with a near sighted, gung-ho copper who accused me of using my phone while driving - I scratched my ear as I drove past him in a side street. He was a total arsehole until his partner told him to lay off. No wonder that bloke in Castle Hill is dead. Did they give him a chance to explain what what he was doing or just leap in like this idiot?!
I also put in for Long Service Leave so that I get an extended summer break but now the long range forecast is shit and the time I planned to be lounging by the pool drinking mojito's in a plastic shot class I could well be spending in trackies on the lounge :(
My job for next year was confirmed though 1 day/week less so I am working on a plan for the extra day. I have started delivering Professional Development session up here with more planned for next year (hopefully to make up for that extra day off).
I think I have all the shopping done for the kids Christmas pressies and am now planning food. Disappointingly my SIL who was visiting can no longer make it. On the upside we don't even have to get dressed if we don't to!
We are off to the Gold Coast in 5 weeks which I am looking forward to though I am yet to save any spending money!
The youngest has had her orientation for preschool which she is so excited about, particularly her new spiffy red hat!
I have resisted the urge so far to apply for well paid yet full time jobs in favour of spending the youngest one's last pre-school year working part time to spend extra time with her.
We've been out and about in the boat including a little swimming on Lake Macquarie. An esky and a proper picnic will be in order next time! Even the dog has a great time:D
On top of all that I think I am shouting less, or at least taking things more in my stride.
I do still sometimes lose it with the eldest one -she seriously pushes my buttons for pleasure and I have been in the habit of biting for so long it is hard to break. I am implementing a series of thought provoking question cards. When she is absolutely losing it (which by the way is usually a performance worthy of an Oscar by it's denouement) I will hand her a card and ask her to answer it. My hope is that it will distract her and end the tanty while also getting her to start seeing her behaviour for what it is so we can try to change it. This I will need to stick to and that is possibly the slackest part in my parenting of her - consistency. That's probably why she pushes everything all the time!
I think I learned my lesson with the other two - time will tell.
So I've kind of lost my way in the purpose of this blog but I'll try to get back on track and post once a week -high expectations, I know!
This weekend is supposed to be sunny and warm so I'm hoping to actually get more than my feet in the pool! I only have a couple of hours chores in the morning and I've already planted the 'dinner out' seed so all in all I'm looking forward to it.
Hope you are looking forward to a lovely weekend too.
See you next week -definitely!
Monday, 10 October 2011
Oops!
So already you have fallen by the wayside but you'll be pleased to hear that it was order for me to go boating, take the kids to the movies, spend time with my elderly Grandma, receive visitors, go swimming, drink vodka and generally commence proceedings for the SUMMER OF FUN!
The second week of the school holidays was pretty good. The first wasn't too shabby for that matter but then who can't have a good time in school holidays.
I did get a bit snippy in the middle there but upon reflection I think by that point everyone was very overtired (we had a big long weekend)and we all needed a nap -but of course didn't have one 'cos it's holidays! Also, like a lot of us I tend to express my anger and frustration badly and toward the wrong peeps. That is an exceptionally bad habit to break. For a start you actually have to think before you explode - not my strong suit sadly but one foible at a time. For the moment it is shouting. I am a shouter and I am breeding shouters so I am working on calm & quiet before anything else. Once I have that organised I'll work on controlled explosions.
So now everything is back to normal. School, work, washing, dinners, blah, blah...I have just this afternoon realised how invaluable I am. This is the upside to returning to work after a break. You realise how important you are to your little brood.
I got home a few minutes earlier than usual to find my eldest daughter in her little sisters school shirt with her belly hanging out, this is how she has spent the day at school. My youngest daughter in her older sisters clothes with only 1 shoe on because she can't locate the other and my middle daughter totally organised 'cos that's the kind of kid she is - in fact she has come in, gotten changed and gone out to water her garden and not even said hello yet! She is happy as long as she gets a cuddle every day. The other 2 are feeding their faces in front of the telly -relaxing after a hard day before hitting the yard. In a way they all have their priorities right, fitting the stuff they enjoy into their daily routines. In the long run they'll be fine I guess...if I can just stop shouting and be less frustrated with what I can't control.
Back to the fun...after I've cleaned the kitchen and organised dinner.
The second week of the school holidays was pretty good. The first wasn't too shabby for that matter but then who can't have a good time in school holidays.
I did get a bit snippy in the middle there but upon reflection I think by that point everyone was very overtired (we had a big long weekend)and we all needed a nap -but of course didn't have one 'cos it's holidays! Also, like a lot of us I tend to express my anger and frustration badly and toward the wrong peeps. That is an exceptionally bad habit to break. For a start you actually have to think before you explode - not my strong suit sadly but one foible at a time. For the moment it is shouting. I am a shouter and I am breeding shouters so I am working on calm & quiet before anything else. Once I have that organised I'll work on controlled explosions.
So now everything is back to normal. School, work, washing, dinners, blah, blah...I have just this afternoon realised how invaluable I am. This is the upside to returning to work after a break. You realise how important you are to your little brood.
I got home a few minutes earlier than usual to find my eldest daughter in her little sisters school shirt with her belly hanging out, this is how she has spent the day at school. My youngest daughter in her older sisters clothes with only 1 shoe on because she can't locate the other and my middle daughter totally organised 'cos that's the kind of kid she is - in fact she has come in, gotten changed and gone out to water her garden and not even said hello yet! She is happy as long as she gets a cuddle every day. The other 2 are feeding their faces in front of the telly -relaxing after a hard day before hitting the yard. In a way they all have their priorities right, fitting the stuff they enjoy into their daily routines. In the long run they'll be fine I guess...if I can just stop shouting and be less frustrated with what I can't control.
Back to the fun...after I've cleaned the kitchen and organised dinner.
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