My turn to whinge.

What the fuck is it with kids and bed time?!

I get that sleep is the most boring part of what is often an adventure filled day. But seriously, it happens every night. How many years do we have to go through this until they give in to the inevitability of night?

Tonight we were doubly stupid on the kids and evening front. It all started watching The Hogfather on ABC1 last Saturday. They loved it. Sat enthralled after dinner and begged to watch Part 2 this week.
So we arrive at tonight.
I fed them...they even got dessert (The Husband's job). To start I would like to give credit where credit's due. The 8 year old watched with little fuss except to participate in the obligatory competition (read screaming match mid movie) over who is cuddling Mum the most. I know they won't always fight over such trivialities as their mothers affections but I really wish they would just get on board with my rotating roster system so everyone could enjoy a cuddle with Mummy!*
My 4 year old who is actually pretty good at movies totally dropped the ball tonight. She literally rolled around the lounge and living room while eating grapes the entire 90 minutes. I don't know about you but this can be somewhat distracting and as a new Terry Pratchet reader^ I actually wanted to see this movie.
Miss 6? Well, she was ok but she's so quiet and easily pleased that I always feel guilty I'm doing enough for her - did she get enough cuddles during the movie? Who knows! Until she has a total meltdown because she is being bullied by her sisters next time they are making some play or movie and she screams at me "YOU DIDN'T CUDDLE ME ENOUGH ON JANUARY 14TH DURING THE MOVIE!" You think I'm kidding but that shit could happen with her. She forgets nothing -EVER! She recalls stuff from when she was much younger than the other 2.
Then there is the game of Hide & Seek that the cat and dog played around the ottoman. I wish I had filmed it.
So to summarise, apparently tonight was not a good night for a movie but last Saturday was. I can't recall last Saturday but that is mainly because it was pretty much the same as this Saturday. The movie held the attention of Miss 8 much the same as last week so I'm determining the movie was not the problem. Oddly though, last Saturday was the full moon...draw your own conclusions on that...

On to bedtime.
Movie over, it's 9 pm. Kids have had a good day of playing and they are tired but here we go again.
I'm not tired (You never are)
I need to sleep with you (I want to sleep with your father)
I need to sleep with someone (Lay quietly and the cat will warm your feet or the dog will snuggle with you -oh the choices!)
My mattress isn't comfortable (Nice try, it's brand new)
I need a drink of water (Classic)
I'm just going to the toilet (Good Idea, hurry up)
I gotta tell you something (Uh, huh)
I'm itchy (Allow me to give you some antihistamines, bwahahaha!)
I can't get to sleep (Go the fuck to sleep!)
And anything else they come up with...some nights are quite impressive. Tonight it has taken 3 rounds of me chasing them into bed before we have settled into something near sleep. Those 3 rounds have taken more than an hour and comprised the resolution of all of the above complaints.
I see the humour in the bedtime dance` but the only thing that seems to finalise each evening is me having to put on this faux anger and they are all asleep within literally minutes. I hate it. It leaves me feeling awful. The last thing they hear and see before they toddle off to dream land is an angry mummy. Who wants that? Certainly not me but at some point they have to sleep, the time comes for it all to be over or their little bodies can't handle the adventures of the next day. So I play my role in their performance and hope that there is only a few more years left. Miss 8 has accepted bedtime so that should mean that it's another 4 years before they are all nicely wandering off to bed for a quiet read without argument before blissful rest.

I would appreciate it if no one destroyed this hope of mine with their own experiences. We all need something to cling to and mine is one less struggle each day with 3 young girls.
Feel free to tell me how to get them to bed easily if you have worked it out though.

Someone pour me a drink -mine got warm...

* Is it weird I have a rotating cuddle schedule?
^ I am still actually working up to reading anything but I have had significant exposure to make me want to read him, if I can find a copy of one of his books that The Husband hasn't literally read the cover off.
`Some nights The Husband and I are actually doubled over in laughter between trips up the hallway!